“Nothing great was ever achieved without enthusiasm.”

(Ralph Waldo Emerson)

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Created by Fida Abbott

Writing Gender-Specific Dialogue

Are you writing a novel or planning to write a novel?

Writing novel has higher level than writing non fiction. We are not only to do the research for the certain contents to compile the story, but we need to know how to craft the story. Many people have ability to write good stories but have not ability to write interesting stories. Practicing is the answer key besides reading the related contents about this case. Learning by reading and doing, is what I have done since I was child. Because of this, I become an independent learner. You might not believe it if I had been learning in 2 years before I decided to write my first e-book/book. Blogging was the first start. When I felt my blog was the ugliest and the worst in the world, I began to learn autodidact by visiting other better and good blogs and read their contents I need to know about to enhance blogging. From there, I improved my learning to know how to publish in the USA from many Websites while I was learning from many sources about writings.

There are three basic contents to build a novel as we all have already known. They are narration, description, and dialogue. This time we will focus to talk about dialogue. I had gotten some questions from my online Indonesian students, PMOH,  regarding how to write the right dialogues. As I presented my first chapter to be a must-read for their first writing task, I was sure they began to learn its answers. I like to give the answers of their questions by offering the fishing tools, not the fishes. By this way they will learn the answers by thinking and practicing.

Writing dialogue in a novel has been interesting to me since I began to write my first novel, Enthusiasm, in 2009. I enjoyed writing this part mostly. I didn't know why but I felt like in the real world when building the dialogues. It made me forget to take a break for awhile when my tummy began to scream.

To enrich our knowledge, below I enclose a related article about Writing Gender-Specific Dialogue, written by Rachel Randall, a content editor for Writer's Digest Books.

Writing dialogue to suit the gender of your characters is important in any genre, but it becomes even more essential in romance writing. In a romance novel, characters of opposite sexes are often paired up or pitted against each other in relationships with varying degrees of complication. Achieving differentiation in the tones and spoken words of your male and female characters requires a careful touch, especially if you’re a woman writing a male’s dialogue, and vice versa. In an excerpt from On Writing Romance by Leigh Michaels, the author discusses ways in which you can render the dialogue of your guy or gal protagonist more realistic and effective.
It’s difficult for a writer to create completely convincing dialogue for a character of the opposite gender. But you can make your dialogue more realistic by checking your dialogue against a list of the ways in which most writers go wrong.
If You’re a Woman
Here’s how to make your hero’s dialogue more true to gender if you’re a female writer:
  • Check for questions. Men tend to request specific information, rather than ask rhetorical questions. If your hero’s questions can’t be answered with a brief response, can you rephrase them? Instead of asking questions at all, can he make statements?
  • Check for explanations. Men tend to resist explaining; they generally don’t volunteer justification for what they do. If you need him to explain, can you give a reason why he must?
  • Check for feelings. Men tend to share feelings only if stressed or forced; they’re more likely to show anger than any other emotion. They generally don’t volunteer feelings. If you need your hero to spill how he’s feeling, can you make it more painful for him to not talk than to share his emotions?
  • Check for details. Men tend not to pay close attention to details; they don’t usually notice expressions or body language; they stick to basics when describing colors and styles. Can you scale back the level of detail?
  • Check for abstractions. Men tend to avoid euphemisms, understatements, comparisons, and metaphors. Can you rephrase your hero’s dialogue in concrete terms?
  • Check for approval-seeking behavior. Men tend to be direct rather than ask for validation or approval. Can you make your hero’s comments less dependent on what the other person’s reaction might be?
If You’re a Man
Here’s how to make your heroine’s dialogue more realistic if you’re a male writer:
  • Check for advice. Women tend to sympathize and share experiences rather than give advice. Can you add empathy to your character’s reactions and have her talk about similar things that happened to her, rather than tell someone what he should do?
  • Check for bragging. Women tend to talk about their accomplishments and themselves in a self-deprecating fashion rather than a boastful one. Can you rephrase her comments in order to make her laugh at herself?
  • Check for aggressiveness. Women tend to be indirect and manipulative; even an assertive woman usually considers the effect her statement is likely to have before she makes it. Can you add questions to her dialogue, or add approval-seeking comments and suggestions that masquerade as questions?
  • Check for details. Women notice styles; they know what colors go together (and which don’t); and they know the right words to describe fashions, colors, and designs. Can you ramp up the level of specific detail?
  • Check for emotions. Women tend to bubble over with emotion, with the exception that they’re generally hesitant to express anger and tend to do so in a passive or euphemistic manner. If you need your heroine to be angry, can you give her a really good reason for yelling?
  • Check for obliviousness. Women notice and interpret facial expressions and body language, and they maintain eye contact. If you need your female character to not notice how others are acting, can you give her a good reason for being detached? (*)
(Posted by Fida Abbott, author of Enthusiasm, May 24, 2014)


What an International Certified Coach and Online Business Consultant Said About "Enthusiasm"?

Everyone knows if we need enthusiasm in our life. It becomes a main ingredient to achieve our goal or dream. Eventually Enthusiasm book which is written based on its author's own true story has inspired many readers. One of them is an International Certified Coach and Online Business Consultant, Viviana Andrew, from Malaysia. Abbottsbooks had a chance to interview her last month. Let's read what she had said. 


A: Why and how did you start your profession as a certified coach and online business consultant?
V: Initially, I was searching for a business without inventory. Then, I learned various skills in internet marketing and purchased different kinds of programs and software. I’m currently doing affiliate marketing and network marketing. I see the obstacles; people rely on good products and good opportunities, but they are lacking in business mindset and skills. Many people give up easily, and they hop from one opportunity/business to another, and they become disappointed. They blame the business and some label the opportunity as scams. I decide to be a coach/consultant for online business, so I can help them to build their business online with the right mentality and attitude and equip them with skills.

A:  What kind of preparations did you do to achieve the status of  international certified coach?
V: I took the accredited course by ICF (International Coach Federation) which means I had to attend online course, passed the exams and had practice of coaching hours to get the certificate. There’re stages in coaching: basic, intermediate and advanced. I have completed the intermediate level,  and I’m currently studying in the advanced level.

A: What are your short-term and long-term goals in business?
V: My short-term goal is to promote business opportunity and to offer personal coaching/consultation for online business. Coaching isn’t popular yet in Asia.
My long-term goal is to automate my online business by building a marketing funnel, to create info products related to online marketing and personal development. I also want to create a mastermind group for people who want to develop their potential by leveraging the power of Internet and social media, so they can create their own success. 

A: What is the biggest challenge to achieve your goals and how do you overcome it?
V: My biggest challenge is time management/self-management because I have responsibility for my team, doing the project or creating info product. I’m also taking course and have responsibility for my family as well.
I manage my challenges by focusing on my goals and to-do-list;  I have coaches and work with different kinds of team for getting my project done and to have accountability for myself.  I have an empowering belief as well to dispel negativity. I believe in success.

A: How long have you been in online business and what have you achieved so far?
V: I started affiliate marketing in 2010 and network marketing in 2011. I have helped people to set up their blog, coached people for their business and helped my team members working in the business together.
My achievements:
Best blog review for business category in 2010
-     - Top MLM bloggers in 2011 and in 2012 and I was nominated as the upcoming blogger in the year 2012.
-     - Platinum ezine article author
-     - Coach & online business consultant in coaching cognition platform
-     - Diamon leader in Vemma
-     - Certified law of attraction practitioner
      - International best selling author, co-author the book with 29 International coaches/mentors Living without Limitations-30 Mentors to Rock Your World.

A: In the book Living without Limitations-30 Mentors to Rock Your World, you are one of  co-authors, what is the mission of the book and what topic did you write in the book?
V: The team is lead by Anita Sechesky and the vision of book “Living without Limitations” came from her.  The book has a mission to empower and to motivate people to break off their limitation and to dare to dream. The book was written by 30 mentors and she compiled the book.  I wrote the chapter “Inspire Your Ambition”. I have seen people who just pass the days in their life without making any progress or achievement every year. They are not living. I discussed in the book on how to look for your source of inspiration and how to keep your ambition stronger so it doesn't die off.

A: What did you and your team do to make  the book Living without Limitations-30 Mentors to Rock Your World become the International Best Seller?
V: We have support from our coaching school and other parties as well and the book becomes popular. It has many reviews at amazon.com. It was also due to our marketing strategy as a team as well.

A: You’re one of the readers of a novel titled Enthusiasm. Could you tell us briefly how you knew and got the book,and why you were interested in reading Enthusiasm?
V: I was introduced to the book Enthusiasm by Fida R. Abbott and got the book from her too. I was interested to find out more about what she wrote about in the book.  I believe that she is the right person to write about enthusiasm because she is enthusiastic about her life and she cares for people around her. She is persistent and has a strong character. I hope that I get to know her more from her book and I wish to model her enthusiasm. Her life experiences as an Asian living in the USA were interesting too. 

A: What kind of  positive changes have you had after reading Enthusiasm?
V: I try to strive constantly even when I have many challenges in my life. If we stay positive and keep striving, we will find the solution and we will make our goal and dream come true.
I wanted to write a book at Amazon.com like what Fida did. I only had the opportunity in year 2013 when I became the co-author of a book titled Living without limitations – 30 mentors to rock your world.

A: Which part did you find it you interesting in the book Enthusiasm? Why do you think it’s interesting?
V: The conflict or dilemma with her spouse. Sometimes, her husband felt neglected because she dedicated her time on writing her book. I also have the same dilemma.
Fida tried to create a comfortable working environment so the ideas could flow in.  I think that is a good try. If you feel stucked, the reason can be from your surroundings.  
Joining a community of writers was a good idea so she could receive feedbacks. I also modeled her by joining a community and mastermind groups to support me and my business.

A: What is your response if Fida is going to release the 2nd book of her Enthusiasm Saga?
V: Great! I look forward to her new book.

A: Whom do you recommend to read the book Enthusiasm and Why?
V: In my opinion, I think that every woman or mother should read Enthusiasm. If you feel trapped in daily life, working or busy with family and house chores, you need to spare some time to think about yourself. You need to develop your potential, have a goal for your personal growth.  Fida shared her experiences on how she juggled her time and managed to do many things in her life: working part-time, doing house chores, caring for her family and still doing volunteer work as a managing editor at KabarIndonesia, an online Indonesian news based on the citizen reporter. She also pursued her dream to be in the list of American authors at Amazon.com and her book won an award.

A: Back to the book Living Without Limitations-30 Mentor to Rock Your World, whom do you recommend to read and where do we get the book?
V: I recommend the book to everyone who is willing to change their life and remind them that they can live without limitations if they are willing to explore possibilities in their life. You can be, do and have things you want to if you are willing to break off from your limitations. The 2nd book, Living without limitations – 30 stories to heal your world will be released on 11th April 2014.  You can get the book from http://amazon.com or visit my website, http://vivianaandrew.com (I feature the book with amazon link). 

A: What kind of advice would you give to young generations who are interested to be an entrepreneur/online coach/consultant?
V: With technology, internet and social media, it is getting easier to start a business online and to become an entrepreneur.  If you are interested to be a coach/consultant for online business, you need to learn skills in internet marketing and learn coaching skills. The most important thing is to have business or success mindset so you won’t give up easily if you encounter challenges.

Viviana Andrew is a certified coach and online business consultant, certified law of attraction practitioner, and International best selling author. She was born in Indonesia and lives in Malaysia. Her mission is empowering people to achieve their own success by overcoming their limiting belief so they can build their business online with passion, clarity and uniqueness. Visit her website at http://vivianaandrew.com.  She is also offering a business opportunity in Vemma to work with her and her global team, visit her website at http://vemmajourney.com. Her Youtube links are Inspire Your Ambition, Why You Read the Book Living Without Limitations, and About Viviana.

(Sponsored by VemmaViviana Andrew)

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